The Weight of the Weave: Reflections on Sustainability and the Full Moon

Over the past few months, I have had the honor of guiding the Advanced Embodiment Practicum for The Wind and The Warrior Institute for Liberatory Healing. At the center of our circle, we have held a piercing guiding inquiry: How do we consciously align our present practice with the Futures we imagine for ourselves and our collective?

But as a facilitator, I have had to sit with the "Reality Check" of that inquiry within my own life.

If I am being truly honest, this season has revealed a profound tension in the architecture of my spirit. I am acutely aware of how much I take on—the hunger of a spirit that seeks to weave together rigorous spiritual practice with a deep, personal responsibility to the climate crisis. I feel the weight of doing my part, in my lifetime, to address the ecological tipping points of our planet.

Yet, I’ve discovered that when the "Warrior" is constantly at the loom, the "Wind" eventually demands a total stillness. I’ve noticed that when I am not teaching or working, I don’t always use my time in the "best" way—at least not by the standards of a productivity-obsessed world. There are moments when my brain simply needs to go dark. It is a biological and spiritual cry for a break—a deep, non-negotiable need for rest that feels almost like a shutdown.

As we approach the Full Moon on January 3, the energy of our work is shifting from the fertile "What If" of the seed to the uncompromising "What Is" of the light.

In our classes, we explored themes of justice, repair, rest, and joy as foundational elements of a desired future. Under the illumination of this upcoming Full Moon, I am shifting the inquiry I ask of myself. It is no longer just about initiation; it is about Revelation.

The light is hitting the weave, and it is showing me where the threads are too tight.

I am now asking: "What is being revealed about the sustainability of my current pace, and what must I release into this moonlight so that I can lead from a place of wholeness rather than depletion?"

I am learning that my need for total mental rest isn't a distraction from my mission—it is an essential part of it. If we are to "get it right," as Ayana Elizabeth Johnson suggests, the future must be one where the healers are as well-tended as the Earth they protect. This Full Moon, I am practicing the courage to be seen in my fatigue as much as my strength, honoring the rhythm of a vessel that must occasionally go empty to remain sacred.

Photo Credit: Dom Labo from Unsplash