Day 110: this writing challenge

penning my ruminations each day is tough. when i set out to do this, it was easier. i was motivated. by day 30 or so, i was done. it became harder. my schedule picked up. my days shifted. why continue to do this?

365 ruminations was born from a challenge to myself to commit to doing one simple thing each day - writing. something i love, but sometimes struggle with. i wondered that if i were to write each day, perhaps it might become easier or my writing might improve. i thought that maybe i could provide deeper analysis on issues of the world more quickly. would i become a better writer if i wrote each day…even if they were sometimes nonsensical thoughts? would my poetry improve by doing it each day?

i don’t know that improvement has happened in these areas. at this point, on day 110, i think what stands out the most is that i carve out a little time to do something that brings me joy. in this space, i have complained about how tired i feel, written about working too much, honored people that i love, expressed my appreciation for non-human relatives and so much more. it has been good, even if i haven’t become a better writer or deeper thinker.

i don’t quite know why i felt the need to write in such a public space. i think that there is something motivating about the idea that i am writing not just for myself, but for another or others. that i am holding myself accountable to this challenge by doing it in front of people.